


What Happens in Paris...

by TDKeh16



Series: Tumblr Fics and Prompts [34]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cornt, Kent and Bitty are a lot more alike than they would care to admit, M/M, Mon Petit Chou universe compliant, They totally took a vacation together, zimbits - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:55:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8841820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TDKeh16/pseuds/TDKeh16
Summary: Kent and Corey took a vacation with Jack and Bitty. Here is a glimpse at how well that turned out. (Hint: it was chaos)





	

**Author's Note:**

> From the prompt: "If you stepped foot in that building, you'd go up in flames."

"Oh! Look at that!" Bitty pointed out a small stone church on their walk back from the café. "I wonder how old it is. I bet Jack will want to see it later."

Corey carefully shifted the bag he was carrying into the same hand as his tray of coffees. he pulled out his cell phone and snapped a quick picture. "There."

"Oh, good idea! We can show him the picture in case he already saw it on his run." Bitty watched as Corey texted the photo to someone. "Are you sending that to Jack?"

"Nah, Kent. I can send it to Jack too, if you want. I thought you'd want to show him in person so you guys could talk about it."

"You're right. Good idea." Bitty continued walking. "So... Does Kent like historic buildings and things, too?"

"Huh? No. I just couldn't resist..." Corey showed his message history to Bitty.

Corey: [picture sent]

Corey: If you stepped foot in that building, you'd go up in flames.

"Oh my..." Bitty whispered as he read the messages. A text came in from Kent before Corey took back his phone.

Kent: So would you, asshole.

Corey read it and laughed. "Well, he's got me there..."

"You just write things like that to each other all the time?"

"Yep." Corey grinned and they kept walking. Another text came in from Kent and he checked it. "Hah!"

Kent: [picture sent]

Kent: Fuck you.

"What else did he say?" Bitty asked.

Corey started laughing. "It's a picture of him holding an empty yogurt container and giving me the finger. The caption just says 'fuck you'."

Bitty was horrified. "Oh my lord! Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, totally. Fuck, he's such an asshole. That was my favourite flavour. He definitely finished it on purpose."

"I'm so sorry. Should we try to find a grocery store? You might be able to buy more."

"Nah, its fine." Corey shrugged his shoulders and shifted his bag back into his free hand. "Fuck, I love him so much," he said with a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "I can't wait to marry that son of a bitch someday..."

"What??? You're really not mad about what he just said to you?" Bitty asked.

"What? No. Why would-- Wait. You've _seriously_ never told Jack to fuck off before?"

" _ **Never!**_ " Bitty replied, even more horrified than before.

"Okay, but, not even when he's being an asshole? Even just for the fun of it?"

"Heavens, no!"

Huh." Corey pondered Bitty and Jack's bizarre relationship as they walked back to the villa the four of them had rented for their week-long vacation in a small town outside of Paris. "So-- _never?!"_

" _Absolutely never!_ "

"So you just... What do you and Jack even say to each other? I thought you Skyped every day."

"We talk about our days and what our families have been up to lately and how much we love and miss each other. I tell Jack how proud I am that he's always trying his best, and he helps me practice vocabulary for my French class," Bitty replied matter of factly. "Just normal things."

"So you actually say stuff like 'great game today, you gave your best and I'm proud of you'?" Corey asked.

"Of course! All the time!" Bitty insisted.

"That's so weird..." Corey said out loud, earning a frown from Bitty. "--Sweet! It's sweet. You guys are adorable... but that's _so weird_."

Bitty scoffed. "That's a perfectly normal thing to do in a loving relationship."

"Huh... Pretty sure if I said something like that, Kent would shave off my eyebrows in my sleep," Corey replied. 

" _ **That's**_ weird!"

"Hm... Agree to disagree." Corey shrugged. "We should both stick to what works for us, I guess."

"Yeah... That's probably for the best." Bitty and Corey both gave each other strange looks. "Trying to understand your relationship makes my head hurt," Bitty admitted.

"You sure it's not just a wicked hangover from yesterday?"

"I'm like, seventy percent sure... maybe make that sixty." Bitty let out a soft groan. "How are you not hungover?"

"Um, 'cuz it was a wine tasting? You and Kent were the only idiots actually drinking it." Corey laughed.

"Well _excuse me_ for thinking they were free samples. My mama taught me to finish what was placed in front of me. I didn't want to be _rude_." 

"Yeah, you and Kent and your _amazing_ manners..." He grinned.

"I was a perfect gentleman!" Bitty insisted with a laugh. "You don't get to chirp me -- or Kent -- about this. You could have stopped us at any time between the first tasting and when we were told to leave. This is basically all your fault. And Jack's. I blame you both."

"Gentleman, huh? I didn't know gentleman got sloppy drunk and cuddled up to their boyfriend's ex..."

"I did no such thing!"

Corey pulled out his phone again and played a short video he had recorded the day before. Bitty's cheeks flushed.

_"You're just-- I'm sorry I didn't like you. I hated you for so long because you were mean to Jack and I **love**  Jack and I jusssdin't like you because I love Jack annnyou were mean to Jack and I **love Jack.**  Like, **so** much!"_

_"Bittle. Bittle, Bittle, Bittle. **Listen**. Bittle. **Bro** , I get it. And I was so jealous of you at first. And like, fuck that, right? Like, shit. That wasn't about **you** , man. You're just-- and me and Jack are friends again and that great, right? We're all taking vacations and shit. And you bake fucking pies and...they're so good. Like, listen. You have no idea. Bittle. Shit. You have no idea."_

_"And that meansssomuch to me 'cuz you are like a big NHL star and--"_

_"I'm a big NHL star too..."_ Jack could be heard mumbling off camera.

The audio resumed with Bitty still speaking, between quiet snickers from Corey. " _\--annnnow we're friends! Like, best friends. You're just so great and Corey Henderson is **so** out of your league but you're great and I respect that."_

_"Hey Zimmermann. I think your boyfriend just negged my boyfriend..."_ Corey whispered.

_"They're making a scene. Should we stop them?"_

_"No way. This is fucking gold."_

Kent continued. " _And we're like brothers, you know? Like, fucking brothers by virtue of-- virtue? Virtue. Virrrtuue."_ He laughed. " _Is that the right word? That's a real word, right? Bittle?"_

_"I have no fucking clue what's happening right now,"_ Bitty said and proceeded to collapse into giggles. Kent tried to pick him up and fell over as well, joining him in a laughing heap on the vineyard floor. Jack could be seen going to help them as the video cut out.

"Aaand that's when we got kicked out." Corey snickered. 

"Oh lord... I am absolutely mortified..."

"Don't be. It's hilarious. Besides..." Corey sighed softly. "It was nice seeing you guys getting along. I know there's still a lot of like, _tension_ between you and him, but it was nice. Even if that _was_ just because of the wine."

"It's not-- I don't _hate_ him. It's just-- he said some really mean things to Jack that night and I can't really _excuse_  it just like that. I know he's Jack's friend again and trust me, Jack is really happy about that so I am for _his_ sake, but..." Bitty sighed.

"Nobody's expecting you to excuse it, Bittle. He's just hoping you'll forgive him for it. Haven't you ever said something you regret during a break up?"

"Oh, _well_... Jack's the only person I've ever dated, so... no, actually."

Corey laughed. "What?! No way! A cute guy like you? At a school crawling with gay and bi guys? What's the saying?"

"One in four, maybe more."

"Okay so, twenty five percent of the guys at your school are into dudes and you weren't breaking hearts left and right? You must get hit on constantly."

Bitty laughed. "Oh lord no, never. Jack's the only guy who's ever liked me that way."

"I call bull shit. Not-- I don't think you're _lying,_  but trust me -- you've definitely turned some heads, buddy, whether you've noticed or not."

Bitty's cheeks turned red and he let out a nervous laugh. "You know, there was a time I would have _literally_ killed to hear you call me cute. I had _such_ a crush on you as a teenager."

"Literally, Bittle?"

"Literally."

 Corey laughed. "Well isn't it lucky that you've got Jack now to quell those homicidal urges... and any _other_ urges..."

 "Oh, shush." Bitty shuffled his feet as they reached the villa. "And I know Kent isn't a bad guy, so I hope we can get along better from now on too."

"Great."

Their earlier debate resurfaced over breakfast. They had all settled in around the table with a selection of oatmeal, yogurt, fresh fruit, coffee, and fresh-baked croissants and bread that Bitty and Corey had bought from the café. The breakfast conversation had been pleasant until both Kent and Bitty had asked their boyfriends to pass them something, and simultaneously used the words "sweetheart" and "asshole" when saying thank you. Bitty sighed as the conversation shifted back into a debate over who had the weirder relationship of the two.

 Kent's brow furrowed in confusion. "What, so you like, hold hands and stuff all the time?" 

"Not _all_ the time, obviously -- but if we have relative privacy or are in a safe environment, then of course," Jack replied. "Or, it's not always holding hands specifically -- sometimes we just put our arms around each other."

"That's so weird..."

"See? That's what I said!" Corey agreed before eating a spoonful of his second-favourite flavour of yogurt.

"You think so?" Jack asked them.

"You never feel like being even a _little_ affectionate in public?" Bitty added. "Isn't that why we came here? Because nobody will recognize any of you here and we can actually go out and dance and stuff like that?"

Corey shrugged. "Well... Maybe it would be nice _sometimes_ , but there's a time and place for it and Kent hates PDA, so..."

Jack looked up from his cup of coffee and directly at Kent. "Oh? 'I really wish I could hold your hand right now. We should just kiss in front of everyone'..."

"Oh, fuck _right_ off, Zimms." Kent groaned and covered his face with one hand. Jack started snickering.

Their boyfriends were at a momentary loss for words. "Um... _What?_ " Bitty finally asked.

"He used to say those two things _every_ time we were at a party. Usually somewhere after his third shot of vodka."

"Because I was _seventeen_ and _drunk_ and a _fucking idiot,_ " Kent insisted.

Jack continued to chirp him. "You used to sit on my lap _all_ the time and you _loved_ cuddling."

"Pfft! Whatever. I only cuddled so it would lead to morning sex."

"Keep telling yourself that, Kenny. You're a snuggler at heart," Jack said with a sly grin.

Corey nudged his boyfriend's arm with his elbow. "You _do_ like to cuddle, Sparky. You always deny it but I _know_ it's true."

"I fucking hate both of you."

Jack stopped teasing and gave Kent a genuine smile. "You're out now, you don't have to stay so guarded about it. You're entitled to be affectionate with the man you love, Kenny. You even live together now. Do what makes you happy, right Bits?"

"..."

"Bits? Is something wro--"

" _SPARKY?!!!_ " Bitty proceeded to cackle for the next five minutes until Jack picked him up and physically removed him from the room.

Jack set Bitty down on the bed with a sigh. "That was a little rude, Bits."

"I know. I'm sorry, I know. I'll apologize to him in a minute... but, _Sparky_?!!"

Jack chuckled. "And yet he always chirps you for saying sweetheart and honey."

"Right?!"

"It was so unexpected... Did you notice how the corner of Kent's mouth twitched when Henderson called him that? He _loves_  it."

"Oh my god, this is just too much. Kent Parson has an absolutely _adorable_ nickname."

Jack nodded his head in agreement. "At least we stick to mostly normal-levels of cute for our nicknames."

"I know! We're _so_ much better at this relationship stuff than them. Did you know they think it's fun to call each other 'asshole'?"

"I would never call you that, Bits."

"Me neither, baby." Bitty kissed him and gently pulled Jack down onto the bed.

**Meanwhile...**

"So... Are they ever coming back, or...?" Corey asked after he and Kent sat alone at the breakfast table for nearly twenty minutes.

"Oh, they're _definitely_  fucking right now," Kent replied.

"Hah! Nice!" Corey gave him a high five. "So, speaking of..."

"Hell yes. Let's go." Kent stood up from his seat and dragged Corey towards their bedroom. "I bet we're _so_ much better at sex than them. They're probably whispering sweet nothings to each other and shit."

"I would never say things like that to you, Sparky." Corey assured him as Kent pulled off his t shirt.

"Me neither, asshole." Kent shoved him backwards onto the bed and crawled on top of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Kent and Corey are basically the funhouse mirror version of Bitty and Jack. True story.


End file.
